So the last time, I talked about how to determine whether something was a red flag or not.
That begged a discussion about how picky is TOO picky?
If you have a laundry list of red flags, does that now make you TOO picky? Exactly how many red flag items does it take to make someone picky?
Here’s the real question you should be asking yourself (and maybe somebody that you are interested in):
Am I being honest with myself about who I am and what I need and want?
It’s such a simple thing. But it’s really not a lot of times.
I know that I don’t always trust that my feelings about things are valid. I question if I should feel a certain way about a certain thing. Instead, I should take that time and sit in the reality that I do feel that way about that certain thing.
When it comes to finding that certain mate, many people talk themselves out of asking for what they really want and really need.
Or they’ll convince themselves that they do or don’t have particular personality traits.
Let’s say you really enjoy being in social settings. That’s what gives you life. You are hardly ever home.
But you’ve been having a hard time finding a woman who either wants to be out and about with you or is fine with you being out and about.
So instead of continuing the search for that woman, you tell yourself that you don’t like to go out that much, and you could be happy staying home more.
Except you’ve already tried that and it didn’t work because you aren’t ready – and maybe never will be – ready to be a homebody.
Yes, a good woman can help you to see a different side of you that you may never have considered before.
She can encourage change and growth, and you might be happier for it.
But remember that discussion about change?
She can’t change you. Only you can change you.
So you have to be honest with yourself about whether this is a change that you desire.
The moral of the story is this:
It’s not picky if it’s what you need and want to be happy and to have a healthy relationship.
Just be honest with her and with yourself about it.
Remember, you aren’t for everybody and everybody ain't for you. And that’s ok.