December 14


What is a Healthy Relationship?

What is a healthy relationship?

The goal that Pam and I have for you reading this is that you learn to build healthy lesbian relationships. We want people to experience successful relationships.

But what is “healthy?” What is a “successful” relationship?

The answer isn’t so cut and dried.

I think we can all agree that any kind of abuse or manipulation, for example, are certainly NOT elements of a healthy relationship that lasts. Healthy relationships that last tend to have similar characteristics – which is what we discuss around these parts.

From there, though, it gets a little hazy.

The truth of the matter is that healthy, successful relationships can look a variety of ways. They have the elements that Pam and I cover in this space, but how that actually looks varies a lot.

For example, healthy relationships are mutually respectful – respectful of each other’s time, of their bodies, of their space, etc. What does “mutual respect” look like?

That’s where you come in.

Only you know what respect looks like to you. It’s up to you to understand it for yourself and then to clearly communicate it to your partner.

Speaking of communication, another element of relationships that last, this, too, depends on you. There are different communication styles and modes (verbal, non-verbal, written, etc.). And there’s also the actual content of the communication.

Again, all up to you to know it and share it.

What Communication is Not?

The most important thing is that both parties (or all – whatever floats your boat) are on the same page and are growing and changing in positive ways.

It sounds like work, doesn’t it?

Well, it is. And it’s work that a lot of people want to avoid. Even after successful relationships that ended for any number of reasons, many women don’t want to take the time to reflect on what worked and what didn’t.

But there are no shortcuts to healthy relationships that last.

You have to be willing to put in the work upfront to know yourself – your needs, your desires, your strengths, and your weaknesses.

You’d be surprised (or maybe not) how few people have taken the time to actually *sit down* and think about these things.

As adults, by middle age, we assume we know these things. We think we know ourselves. That’s a bad assumption and leads us into relationships where we are frustrated when we think our partners are coming up short.

So, if you want this, really want it, you gotta roll up your sleeves.

What does YOUR healthy relationship look like?


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