April 25


Why It’s Ok To Slow Down Lesbian Dating

I write this to you today as I am sitting outside, enjoying a little springtime sunshine while I watch our dog hunt landscapers (she and landscapers have a mostly one-sided hate-filled relationship).

This weather has been promised to us for a long time – well, for a week. It feels longer. I checked the forecast early last week and was pleased with how often that little sunshine emoji popped up.

Yet, as each day arrived, those smiling suns became clouds.

See, we started the process of going solar months ago and finally – FINALLY – our panels were activated less than two weeks ago. I have been watching the sun and the panels like a hawk since.

There are lots of options you have when choosing your path to solar. The one we chose means that we pay our solar company for the power produced by our panels each month. It doesn’t matter how much electricity we use; it’s about how much power our panels produce.

That means that sunnier days actually result in higher bills.

Sounds crazy, right? Why would we ever agree to such a thing?! And why would I WANT the days to be sunny?

This is why: we are playing the long game.

Any unused power produced by our panels is shared with our neighbors and our regular utility company credits us for that power we’ve provided.

Long story short(er): our electric bill will actually be much lower in the winter, despite our panels not producing much power.

Blah, blah, blah. Why am I talking to you about solar power? You probably don’t care. I just barely care.

This is the point I’m trying to make: sometimes when you look in the short term, sometimes things don’t seem worth it.

But when you think more long term, when you step back and see the big picture and you play for “later” and not just “now,” suddenly you can see the benefits.

This extends to so many areas of our lives. Work. Family. Romantic relationships.

Sometimes we are so obsessed with looking for the value now that we don’t let things develop so that we get even more value in the long run.

Maybe you’ve been doing online dating sites for a few months, maybe even paying for them, with little to no return.

Maybe, as I was at one point, facing the decision of whether to make substantial changes to my current life in the promise of something better down the line.

Maybe you’re just starting a relationship that doesn’t seem to be moving along fast enough for you.

I’m not saying delay what you really want. You want some value up front too, right?

You at least want some solid dates from that dating app. You want to enjoy some aspects of your super-new relationship.

But remember: It’s about the long game.

Let me be clear: the long game isn’t about waiting and waiting and waiting to see what happens. If the game is worth playing, you’ll see some small returns in the short term.

Instead, the long game is about realizing that sometimes you have to let the whole story unfold before you see the FULL value of the situation.


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