HAPPY NEW YEAR!
So we finally made it to 2021. Last year may have felt like the longest year EVER. I know it did for me.
But 2021 is here. For sure, some of the baggage from 2020 is still hanging over our heads.
But that doesn’t have to be THE story for 2021.
A New Year prompts resolutions. That’s not really my thing, though. I’d much rather think about my goals in general and what I want to accomplish this year to get me closer to them.
For me, this is a lot more manageable than these “resolutions” that fall by the wayside by February. I mean, doesn’t “wear a size [insert goal pant size here]” and making a plan to make changes to get you there sounds a whole lot easier than, “Lose 50 pounds by October.”
So let’s think through some goals, especially as they relate to getting (back) out there in the dating world.
Here are some quick actionable steps you can take to get the ball rolling in 2021.
Step 1: WHAT’S THE ULTIMATE GOAL?
What exactly are you wanting in terms of a relationship? Do you want something long-term eventually? Or maybe you’re just down for a little slap-n-tickle, ifyouknowhatImean. There’s no wrong answer here.
What you have to do, though, is be honest with yourself. If you don’t truly want something long term, don’t try to convince yourself that you do. And if, what you really really want is that forever love, don’t waste time convincing yourself that you’d be fine with a little bed and dash.
Remember, though, that you are not necessarily trying to meet this goal this year. Take the pressure off of yourself.
Step 2: WHAT ARE INTERMEDIATE THINGS YOU NEED TO DO?
These intermediate steps are going to be tailored to your specific situation.
Are you ready for a relationship? That is, do you have the things in place that YOU think you need in order to be “ready?” Some people feel as if they need to be financially stable. Others might be waiting for family drama to clear up. Others are waiting for that divorce to be final *side eye* (I’m not trying to get all up in your business).
Whatever it is, start making a list of those things.
If you’re ready, now what? Of course, we are strong proponents of online dating if it’s done right and effectively. It can literally open up the world for you if you know how to do it. What sites will you use?
But there are other ways, too. If you prefer a more organic approach, think about your options. Some of the usual suspects – bars, restaurants, church, local events – are out right now. But there are some intriguing online options – like Facebook and meetup groups who are meeting via zoom. If you’re in a warmer climate, you may be lucky enough to take advantage of some outside activities too.
Identify which are for you and make a plan for how to get involved in these things.
Step 3: SLAP A DATE ON IT!
I know, I know. This sounds kinda resolution-y. But sometimes you’ve just gotta slap a date on it.
You can’t put a date on finding love, and I don’t suggest that you do. That’s just a set up for disappointment.
However, you CAN put a date on each of the things listed in Step 2. When are you going to place that dating profile? When are you going to pay off that credit card? When are you going to join that local meet up group for singles?
What we’re talking about here, is setting an end date for getting you READY for love! We unfortunately can’t rush love. But we can sure as heck make sure we’re ready, posted up with a cocktail when it comes strolling by.
So that’s it. That’s a start. No resolutions. Just plans.
What are some other goals you’ve set for yourself that you can get started on today?