February 2


Lesbian Relationships: How to make heartbreak work for you

Kelly was inside the house. She had no idea why I was yelling, “FCK FCK F*CK! outside.

I had just broken the top of our snowblower. It was a key part: the part that angles the snow to where you want it to go and I had just broken it.

I was HOT!

See, what had happened was our water hose got wrapped up in the device that churns the snow.

In my effort to remove the water hose, which was really wound up in there, my brute force ripped the directional device off the snowblower.

I don’t like when I make mistakes, even though I know they are a necessary part of learning. At that moment I was pissed that I wasn’t more careful.

Kelly came out to check on the commotion. What she got to hear was more F-bombs and me having a temper tantrum breakdown over something we could easily replace.

But that was not all it was to me. It was also because Kelly was the one that purchased the snowblower and I was pissed that I had broken it.

Plus, it was the first snow of the season and the weather forecasters had predicted our area was going to see snowfall that we had not seen in quite some time. We needed the snowblower.

Fast forward a month or two later to our living room.

Kelly and I worked together to assemble our new snowblower because a nor'easter was headed our way.

The weather folks got this nor'easter prediction right, for once. We got about two feet of snow and it was time for me to try out our new snowblower.

During my second round of plowing as I pushed through the two feet of snow at the edge of our driveway, a thought came to me.

The snowblower reminded me of relationships.

What does this have to do with relationships?

You see, the previous, now broken snowblower represents a broken heart from a previous relationship.

In that moment, all you feel is the heartbreak, the disappointment, the betrayal, or whatever painful feeling that it is that you feel.

Sometimes you may think it’s not possible to love again.

Or you hold onto the woman, whether you’re holding on to the good things or the bad things, you’re still holding on to whatever you had with her.

But as I pushed on the new snowblower it reminded me of what my experience with the old snowblower taught me.

A few weeks prior I was flipping out because I broke the other snowblower, but there I was with a new snowblower. A better snowblower.

I learned we needed a snowblower that could handle more snow. The type of snow I was managing that night.

And we needed a snowblower where the snow didn’t get so easily stuck in the blower.

What we got in with our new snowblower (in our new relationship) was a bigger, wider, more powerful snowblower. It also had lights. We didn’t know we needed that feature until we got it. And those lights came in handy because I was plowing in the dark.

You see, prior relationships are a build-up to a better relationship. What you do to make it better is to learn from prior relationships.

If we had simply replaced the old snowblower, with the same model, we would have had the same headaches. It would have taken longer to remove the snow, I wouldn’t be able to see what I was doing in the dark, and the snow would get caught in the chute.

Relationships work the same way. If you go into a new relationship the way you always do, you’ll end up with the same results.

So instead of repeating old patterns, or holding onto the past, go into your new relationship in a new way. Take the lessons learned about you, and her so you maintain a better and stronger relationship.


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