October 6


Lesbian Dating: Is that Really the Type of Relationship You Want?

Alright, so let’s get right to it. I’m going to stay with our impromptu lying/honesty theme this week and address another sore spot for women trying to navigate these dating streets: 

What women say that they want.

It’s usually one of two things: either the woman doesn’t know what she wants, or she knows what she wants but isn’t honest about her true intentions.

That first woman is exhausting, especially if you’re clear on what YOU want.

She’s exhausting because she can take you on a rollercoaster ride.

One day, she has one dream for her relationship, and the next day it’s something else.

One day, she seems to be the perfect fit for you, the next day, you don’t seem to want the same things anymore.

To avoid being that woman, take some time to really figure out what it is you want. What kind of relationship? What kind of woman? What does that relationship look like.

And I’m sure you can guess what I’m going to say next but here goes anyway: and be honest with yourself about it.

Which leads me to the next piece: women who know what they want (or who at least believe that they do) but say they want something else.

Maybe you know the drill, and if you’ve had people slide into your DMs (that’s “direct messaging” like Facebook or Instagram messenger, for those who are not in the know), you probably do:

She sends you a message because she saw you in a Facebook group. She claims she’s just looking for friends.

However, her message is a full-on dating profile.

Does she want friends or is she ultimately looking for a relationship? Those things are not mutually exclusive, so she also could be looking for both. 

And that’s the problem.

If you are looking for a friendship that could potentially lead to a relationship, then just say that. Don’t be cute about it. Be honest about it.

When you aren’t, then you end up with the woman who also only wants friends who might then be put off when you try to move things along.

Starting as friends is great (and recommended) but if you are on a journey to a romantic relationship, then you should be on it together. 

Besides, friendship and friendship with the ultimate goal of exploring something romantic are two different animals. The getting-to-know-you phase will likely be different depending on the goal. There are certain things that you don’t need to know about your friends that are important to know about a potential partner.

So just put it out there. Don’t be shy about saying what you want. 

Too often, women shy away from expressing their desires for fear of being viewed as difficult or too aggressive. Let that go. 

Trust me: more women would rather you just be honest.


You may also like

What is a Healthy Relationship?
{"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}